mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
