so explain again why im purple
no
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
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I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
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"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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