Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Randomize
