My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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