U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
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