are you still at the devil's house?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
She needs sedatives and a leash
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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