My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
