At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
