We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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