He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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