sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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