Dignity is for republicans.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
