just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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