You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
