At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Randomize
