$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I want her autograph on my taint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize