Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
