did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Fuck appropriateness.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
