He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
