So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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