I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
