you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize