College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
