guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
