you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Boobs are out for the taking
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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