is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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