So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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