I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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