If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize