Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
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