He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
