worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
whose parrot is this?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize