Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
