I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
