Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize