I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize