this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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