Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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