i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize