I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
