We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I understand Curling. That high.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
