ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
