I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
