she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
