I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
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i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize