i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
