Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
