Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
