The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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