I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
