her vagine was all disorganized.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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