My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize