I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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