Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
