Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
