I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize
