Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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