My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
