i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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