Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
