pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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