New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Sacagawea was the original milf.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
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