she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
