I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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