I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
