he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
