there were more penises there than on chat roulette
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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