just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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