Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
