Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
17 year olds will be the death of me.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
