Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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