I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
